It was the day after New Year’s Day, and everyone was still asleep.  I was sitting cross-legged on the floor with all my calendars, planners, laptop, and cell phone in front of me, crying because I just wanted to spend more time with my daughter.

You know how those little memories just pop up on your phone and when you least expect it, they drag you back to times long gone and bring up just enough nostalgia to place a little lump in your throat? Well, that is what happened to me. I was supposed to be planning content for my IG feed and writing down ideas for future blog posts, but here I was in tears because I missed my little girl.

For months, I grieved the loss of connection we once had. The connection changed by our son, her brother. I really tried hard to get things back to what they once were, but it was clear that this change was inevitable and here to stay. I talked to my therapist about it and she assured me that it was a natural progression of life for moms of multiples to experience changes in the dynamics of your relationship with your oldest child. That somewhat reassured me, and it got me through the next phase of life for our baby boy.

But here I was again, months and months later, crying because I just wanted to hangout with my daughter like we did before. I looked at my calendars and noticed one thing: I had scheduled many things, but I had not scheduled time with my daughter.  The best part of that epiphany was that I realized I could.  At that moment, I moved all my content planning calendars aside, opened my personal planner, and wrote in “Mommy-Daughter date day”. This time around, I can hopefully stick to this reoccurring event especially since the pandemic has caused my husband’s job to adjust their work schedules to allow work-from-home days and some Fridays off.